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My husband and I , with our dog, Tate, moved to Buenos Aires.. Life has never been the same since ~ Back in the USA ... life is still not the same !
It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new.
But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful.
There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.
Alan Cohen
"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
Groucho Marx
The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.

Friday, June 24, 2016

Memories

It makes going to buy the newspaper much nicer when it is bought in a space like this.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Viral

No, sadly, my blog has not gone viral. The world is not knocking down the doors to meet such an amazing blogger.
The cats might try to knock down the door when I don't feed them on time .. to the second .. but no one cares about my blogging.

Oh .. wait a minute, someone does care.
The lovely person who stayed on the phone with me for what seemed like hours and it really was only ... hours.
The man who walked me through the long process of getting the virus out.

My Mac started shouting at me earlier today ... VIRUS !!! VIRUS !!! then fainted.

Using the cell phone, I was able to contact the online Apple people who fix things like this ..

Apple Support is a Wonderful Thing.

And TECHVAULT INC is wonderful too.
He sat on the phone with me for a very very long time. He worked and fixed and worked and comforted and encouraged and fixed my computer.

It is no longer suffering from a virus. It is well again.
I will suffer from fear of it happening again, fear of being cut off from the world and everyone I know in it , by a virus.

I might not need it or want it someday and that is OK too.
I took it for X amount of months but I am not locked in to a  contract ..

So watch out for Malware ... it can really screw up your day/computer/time in so many ways.



Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Ordinary

On an ordinary day, we would walk past or into buildings like this every day in Buenos Aires.
 We had friends who lived in one, we enjoyed visiting them .. going up the cage elevator that was only slightly less wobbly than the one in our building ... or walking up the fabulous white marble staircase that went up and around ..

It was very easy at times to imagine we were in Paris .. with Art Nouveau touches everywhere, statues and gardens .. Those hints that all those people who were part of the founding of the city, were there .
The huge statue in the park, O'Higgins on his horse, fighting and winning battles for Independence.

The parks were very French with the plantings and trees in long orderly rows.
The statues Everywhere ! famous men, famous horses, fountains .. lovely.

When I look at the photos, in my memories I can hear the traffic noise , the people all around, the dogs in the parks having such fun .. sitting on a bench and people watching, going down the street to a fabulous Art Museum .. or a few blocks farther away to a fabulous Home that is now a Museum but was a Home at one time ... the art, the furniture are still there, waiting, as if the family will return soon..

I even miss that crazy ride by taxi to Chinatown on Sundays where we would have lunch and shop for spices in the markets.

Ordinary every day things like going to a market with my husband, taking a walk in the park with our dog, buying coffee at the shop that made it just the way we liked it ... going to a pharmacy  !  all ordinary every day occurrences but made out of the ordinary because of where we were ..

I miss that ordinary place, those ordinary things we did .. that ordinary life ..



Monday, June 20, 2016

On My Mind

Nothing much happening but a lot of soul searching and thinking going on ..
"Old friends" ... funny how life changes, you move, you do different things, you lose track of people or it seems that everyone sort of moves on with new friends and at times it is like being left behind.

I have depended on "friends" for a couple of years now, more than ever before.
My husband was my Best Friend ... I / We never needed other people .. there were friends but we were just as content with only each other all the time.

We made friends in Argentina over the years. Ex-pats, locals, cousins ... ( long story for another time) ... and then we moved back to New York.
The move was my husbands idea ... call it Missing Family or Premonition ... I was reluctant but convinced with a new grand baby on the way and promises of charming houses in the woods.

The House was not so charming but definitely in the woods/country.
The family was not that close so the visits were few and far between.
The baby arrived and won our hearts instantly and we were thrilled although it became a matter of some sadness that we did not see him often.

And then, just months ..7 months after arriving back in the United States, my husband died. Suddenly, with no warning, not sick, thanks to an incompetent doctor.
Suddenly, with no warning, I was a Widow.
Suddenly, I had to know how to pay bills, run a house ( in a place where they get feet of snow ... feet !!!) and a house that looked good but unfortunately for us, the realtor failed to point out the things we would not have known to look for ...

Those first months were spent shopping and moving and decorating and painting ... planning.
Oh the plans we made. How nice that house would have looked .. how much more fun it all would have been. But it all came to a screeching halt, 7 months after returning to the United States from Argentina.

I knew no one. I always got lost . I was terrified all the time. The noises at night, the unrelenting snow the first winter ... things broke constantly ... a fortune spent replacing major machines .. you know, machines like a Furnace !! and laundry .. at least the floor got cleaned nicely when the washer broke.

After the numbness of grief wore off and the pain and anger set in, I know I lost friends online .. I was harsh in tone, hard in attitude, angry ... sad ... frightened all the time.
Some friends are here today , still with me, they stuck by me through it all and were True.
Others stayed for some unknown reason only to be hateful and nasty recently, when they thought maybe it was OK to be an a**hole now that I am out of my "mourning" period ?
Who knows but it sure showed me that my judge of character and my misplaced trust in strangers on the internet has to be dealt with.
An unpleasant lesson learned from some unpleasant people. There is consolation though-
what goes around, comes around. Remember that.

I am in Florida now.
No snow. No machines or furnaces breaking down, no snow. A daughter who is kind and helpful and motherly to her mother and that beautiful Grandson who looks like a Viking , towering over me. And no snow !

My true friends have stood by me, my old friends in Argentina are still there and I even heard from one today, a sweet note from a voice from the past  ... a reminder of how happy we were there in that place ..

So here I am. In a posh condo :) in Florida. Like any self respecting NYer .
And I long to be back in Argentina.
So plans are forming.

Meanwhile, have I mentioned how much I love the malls here ?
It is like going to a town ! Streetlights on wide sidewalks, beautiful shops with huge windows to walk by and window shop , anything in the world you might long for , they have it ... even if you never knew it existed, they have it.
I was reluctant to go on a spree as I have just arrived, there are so many good places to spend money :)

I did buy some Trapp Candles from a favorite shop in a favorite neighborhood.. lunch with daughter, and home to lonesome cats who were very dramatic in their efforts to convince me of how hungry they were, how afraid they were that I was not coming home, how sad they were, how important it was that they ALL sleep on my bed.
Even if they bickered for an hour ... on my bed .... late at night ...

My life changed in every single way .. the important people are still here, minus one, the other half of me. But I carry him with me wherever I go ... right there ... next to my heart.
I am looking at air fares to Argentina. I am mulling over apt vs hotel. I am looking Forward.

No matter what happens in Life ... you have to look Forward. It is hard and at times mind boggling in its painfulness but you have to keep moving Forward. So on I go.

I will blog when I have anything that might be of interest but lately, pipes breaking and armadillos in the back garden are the extent of my days ... but the seed has been planted for the plan to return , even if just for a visit, to Buenos Aires. I hope you all stay, I will try to do something interesting to write about and I will keep you abreast of the plans to return to Argentina.

besitos and abrazos

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